The Hardest Thing I've Ever Loved To Do

Hello Everyone,

Last week we were warned about a crazy, one-legged lady with AIDS on the loose with her blood in a syringe, running wild in the streets injecting her blood into innocent victims. These types of situations are far too common here, and while they are just part of the crazy circumstances here in Brazil, I feel like I haven’t really lived without these experiences. But don’t worry family (or anyone), we have to be discriminating here and guided by the Spirit, so we will be safe but we make ourselves available to everyone and anyone seeking after the truth.

I keep writing that it’s 2016, and I am just way confused about that. It’s April 2018 already, and I don’t know if it’s a sign that I still haven’t realized so much time has passed and that I’m not at the beginning of my mission anymore. It’s been 1 year and 5 months, but I guess it still hasn’t hit me that I have been gone that long or that so much time has passed. We had zone conference this past week, and everyone asked me, “so, Sister Vance, what are your plans?” I responded, “plans for what?” haha, but was just kidding as I have definitely made some personal goals for when I return. The zone conference was just awesome. It was at President Melo’s house and it was so spiritual. It was one of the best ones yet, and that’s a good thing because it was my last! The closing hymn was “Called to Serve”, and of course I started getting a little choked up, and the mission president’s wife (Sister Melo) came by my side and she started to cry too! I love that woman so much! We are going to miss each other. Then I looked over at my companion (Sister Keuiele) and she was crying more than me, saying that she didn’t want me to go. It was cute, but I told her not to cry because we still have a lot of time together, and lots to do!

Speaking of Sister Keuiele, this week we were doing training together and talking about the people we teach. She then started to rant about how she was frustrated that not everyone will listen to us, pray, read the Book of Mormon, or go to church. She then started to cry and said, “if only they knew how much these things could change their lives for the better. I just want them to have what I have and know what I know. Why don’t they care about their own happiness? I would do anything to help them understand the truthfulness of the gospel.” I remember, many times, feeling the same way during my mission. As she was frustrated and crying, I felt the Spirit so strong. When she stopped, I smiled and said, “this right here is exactly what missionary work is all about. This is why we are here”. I just wanted to throw the training book out the window because the real desire to bring salvation and joy to others is everything you need to be a great missionary and a true disciple of Christ. The rest will come on its own.

The most important thing in missionary work is giving, and putting your whole heart into it, and loving each and every person in a way that you would do anything for them to feel peace and knowledge that we have through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that when this is our goal and purpose in the mission field, that at the end of it all, we will be the ones that come out of this the most converted and the most changed, but only if our focus is on others. It’s impossible to care about someone “too much”. Yes, as missionaries we are often disappointed or let down, but missionary work was never meant to be easy. If it’s easy, then you’re doing something wrong! It is filled with the lowest of lows because of the agency of others … but it is also filled with the highest of highs that make it all worth it in the end. There are moments when I say a silent prayer to Heavenly Father asking Him to help me never forget the complete joy that seems to completely fill me. Sometimes I try to take mental pictures when I start to see a physical change in the countenance of someone I love here. Only Heavenly Father truly knows how grateful I am for this opportunity. These experiences are so unique and precious to me … it is truly the hardest thing I’ve ever loved to do.

Love you all!

Sister Vance