Thursday, April 19, 2018

Losing Myself to Become More Like Me Than Ever Before

Family & Friends,

There is an old missionary myth that the more you get rained on, the more handsome your future husband will be. I’m not trying to brag or jump to any sort of conclusion here, but this past week we got rained on every day; pouring rain storms that left so much flooding! So, “Dear Future Husband, one day when you read this, don’t forget to thank me!” Haha, #KeepTheRainComing!

But really, there has been some pretty extreme weather. It hasn’t rained so much since 2009. There have been times when the water has been waist high, and there are fish swimming in it. I wish I was kidding, but it’s true. We were proselyting for more than 3 hours without shoes. It has been way fun, and definitely an adventure and struggle at the same time. But waist deep water can’t stop the work. When it’s raining or storming, missionaries can’t just take shelter and wait out the storm. It’s absolutely the best time for finding people to teach! They will let you in because of pity or yell at you to come into their house.

When we were proselyting barefoot, we found Janderson. A 26 year old man, we taught him about the Restoration and he found it interesting, but when we pulled out the Book of Mormon and started explaining it, his eyes lit up with interest and excitement. When we returned a day later, he had read everything (introduction, testimonies) and 13 chapters! We tried not to fall out of our chairs! We tried to play it cool with him, but left trying really hard not to make a scene in the street, because we became so excited and happy!

We had an appointment set for 8pm another day, and it was raining and storming a ton. When we showed up, the family was shocked. The grandma started running around to dry us off with towels, and had no shame of touching wherever she needed to get us dry! It must have been a bit of a shocking sight to see us show up, but when they said they thought we wouldn’t come, we responded and said, “but we told you that we would come, right? We mean what we say”. My companion and I have decided that we really have to SHOW them how important and sacred this work is. We aren’t messing around here! Someday, I just hope that these people we teach can see and understand how much we worry about them, how they are constantly on our minds, and how we are willing to do anything for them. We really do love them.

Victor, a 16 year old young man, has been receiving our messages. Saturday, we taught him the Plan of Salvation, and at the end he said, “did I ever tell you about the dream I had? The other night, I did what you have been teaching me to do, praying with faith and asking if these things I am learning are true. In my dream, I was walking in a grassy field and I looked up and saw a tree”. My companion and I already had goosebumps, and I was already getting emotional. He continued, “and when I looked up at the tree, I saw a light that said to me, ‘continue on the path that you are on’”. As he explained more, it was clear he had dreamed about the tree of life (1 Nephi 8)”! We read in the Book of Mormon about Lehi’s dream and it was so spiritual. What a miracle! Mighty faith brings about mighty miracles! It was so cool, because he understood and then was able to fully interpret his dream using the Book of Mormon. We have seen so many miracles this week that have felt like tender mercies from the Lord. I am excited to see what He has in store for me during my last week in the mission!

Because of the flooding, it has been sad because water has entered into houses as well and people have had to leave. We were invited to go to place where these people were staying. We made breakfast for them, played around and got to know a bunch of them. They were sweet and it was a humbling experience. We got 30 or more of them together and taught the Plan of Salvation. I have had many opportunities during my mission to teach groups of people and it is always a different experience. I always feel the power and authority of my calling as a missionary. I feel like I’m really preaching, haha! One man yelled out at the end, “I am so happy, everything seems so much clearer to me!” I thought, that just sums up the “Plan of Happiness” for me too, my friend. I love having the knowledge that we have, and the way it influences my daily and life decisions. I have been praying a lot recently about my life and what to do with it, haha, and this service project was an answer to my prayers. I have learned that whatever happens, my life needs to be FILLED with service. I feel myself thriving in joy in these situations.

I have learned on my mission that when people or God talk about “losing yourself”, it means abandoning all selfishness, all pride and our self-will. Once we do that, God really gives us back all of our personality … when we are wholly His, we will be more ourselves than ever before! You may have noticed that over the past 18 months I have still been crazy, always laughing and I have had fun and happiness on my mission. But I really feel like I have changed.

I feel like Christ and God’s love have really molded and shaped me. I feel more love within me, with more love to share. I feel more forgiving because I realize how much I have been forgiven. I am more patient because other people (including Heavenly Father) have been more patient and kind with me. I love to work hard here because I know that this is His work. I have learned obedience because of the perfect example of our Savior, and have seen the blessings of it here in the mission, and the miracles it brings. I have learned what real faith is and have learned how to nourish it and grow it on a daily basis. I have learned humility as I have realized that I need the help of the Divine in my life. I have seen that, no matter how much or how hard I have worked, sweated and even cried to help these people, He is always doing more and doing the job in the perfect way that only He can do it.

In the end, I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, because I have felt and seen Him save me from myself over and over again. He is my King, my personal Savior and personal Redeemer. I am striving to live in such a way that when I return to Him and am in His presence, that it will feel familiar to be close to Him.

See you all soon; love you all!

Sister Vance

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