Hi Everyone!
This week the title to one of my journal entries was "day of the devil". Let me explain … a couple weeks ago I had an allergic reaction that left a rash on my shoulders, back and stomach that also left my whole body itchy. I had the misconception that my head being totally itchy and driving me crazy was just a part of the reaction, but a new discovery was made. I had very alive, active and growing lice in my hair! I screamed, and I am still screaming. Luckily my companion is bigger than me and restrained me as I tried to run for my razor to pull a Brittany Spears and shave all my hair off. Hours were spent this week brushing through every strand of my hair, as bugs were literally falling to the ground. I wish I was exaggerating. When I saw that, I hit my breaking point with these bugs here in Brazil! We have a bathroom called “cockroach cemetery” that no one enters under any circumstances, because it has nests of cockroaches in the walls. The mosquito bites up and down the legs of every sister missionary here, is a trial from "satanas" but tudo bem, but this lice thing was way too much to handle! My district leader thought it was funny to start cracking jokes and calling me "Sister Piolho", which means lice. I told him to be careful or else I would ask him for a blessing of health, and he would have to put his hands on the nest of "Piolho" and his district would soon be known as the piolho district. He quickly repented. Anyway, enough of me being a drama queen, I am just so grateful for my wonderful companion. She spent hours and hours brushing through my hair, and helping me in every way possible, even at the risk of getting lice herself. She truly displayed perfect charity and perfect unselfishness. I just kept thanking her over and over again. She told me that I am the only companion that she has had that she would truly do anything for. We are working so well together and I am so grateful for her. She is an example to me.
This week my companion and I both received a prompting to stop by the local bar. I am pretty sure that is the first, and I hope only, time the Spirit has prompted missionaries to do that, haha. As we arrived we caught sight of one of our less active members waiting outside trying to decide whether or not to enter. He looked up, saw us and said "I knew you would come". I almost lost it in that moment. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. I am literally scared to live without that guidance and direction in my life. If I have learned anything on my mission, it is to NEVER POSTPONE A PROMPTING. The difference could be immeasurable. I read a quote by John Taylor that said, "If you do not magnify your calling, God will hold you responsible for those whom you might have saved had you done your duty." It makes me think of the time Jesus was told about Lazarus, when Martha ran and wept at His feet and said, "if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." And Jesus wept. The thought of seeing an investigator or less active member look at me after this life and say, “if thou hadst been there”, makes me more and more motivated to completely fufill my calling as a missionary and as a representative of Jesus Christ. I will never stop being amazed at how the Lord can direct the whole world, and yet have time to provide inspiration concerning the one individual. I know that the more we listen to the inspiration that comes to us, the more the Lord will trust us with His errands. This week was full of high and lows. Sitting in the chair for hours as my companion helped me, I was feeling down and frustrated about more than just my hair situation. Then an EFY song starting playing. It was about a girl that got her call to serve a mission and I started paying attention to it, then the chorus hit me like a smack in the face. It goes like this:
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU
You look into your father’s eyes when he takes his hands off your head
He whispers that he’s proud of you and he knows you’ll do your best
You say you wonder if you can do it, that’s when he says
It’s not about you
It’s not about you
It’s for the people who are blessed by what you do
It’s not about you
Everybody’s gathered ‘round you
Eyes all aglow
You start to read that piece of paper
To see where you’ll go
And you wonder if you’re ready
But you already know
It’s not about you
It’s not about you
It’s for those who are searching for the truth
It’s not about you
You get home and you fall in love, but you’re scared to death
Cause you wonder if you’re good enough, but then a thought goes through your head
It’s not about you
It’s not about you
It’s for your children and the world they’re coming to
It’s not about you
It’s not about you
It’s not about you
It’s for the people who are blessed by what you do
It’s not about you
Sure you’ve become much better, because of what you’ve been through
But it’s not about you
I heard that, and we stopped brushing my hair and we got back to work with bugs still eating at my scalp. Every appointment we had fell through, but that song was stuck in my head. It wasn’t about me.
This week was difficult, but the minute I saw Irmão Jerry enter the church in a suit for his baptism, the Spirit touched my heart as I realized how much this is worth! It is the feeling of seeing the change in people, and I will say this again and again, that Irmão Jerry is not the same man I met in the streets. He is so different and a changed man. He physically doesn’t look the same! Seeing his mom, who is a very strong and firm Catholic, show up at the baptism and hug Jerry and tell him through tears that she is so proud of him; those are the moments I live for in my mission. I beg and plead with my Heavenly Father to help me remember these moments, the things I am learning through my experiences and the way I am changing. I am so grateful for the opportunities that I have to be selfless, and the ways I am learning to sacrifice. I am seeing the mercy and miracles of our loving Heavenly Father, not only a spectator, but as a participant. He is so active in the lives of the people we have contact with and in my own life. I am looking forward to more opportunities when I can forget myself, remember that it’s not about me, and lose my life for the Savior because I know that only through Him can I truly find my life.
Love you all so much,
Sister Vance
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